The Courage to Step Back
I think it's time for more..."less"
Ever have a time where you keep telling yourself things like — as soon as I get through this thing, I can get back to my regular schedule?
😭😂
That’s where I’ve been the last couple of months. I just get to the end of one of life’s tire-blowouts and—boom!—another one rolls right in. I’m not saying this to complain (it’s keeping me on my toes!), but I am admitting that I’m spread thin and feeling a little scattered. Which probably means… it’s time for some R&R.
I think because of this - I’ve been at a loss all day around what to focus on for this newsletter. And then I saw my planner’s inspirational quote:
“Never discount yourself by comparing yourself to others. Focus upon your own view of yourself and love who you are. Focus on being your highest and best self and speak and live your truths.”
That felt timely, especially because I’ve been reading The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi, a conversational deep-dive into the ideas of psychologist Alfred Adler.
This wasn’t on my reading list—it just kind of found me on my Libby app. (If you haven’t visited your local library lately, by the way—highly recommend it!) But the timing couldn’t have been better.
Lately, I’ve been fighting that old voice that says, “You’re not doing enough. You should be further along by now.” Which is silly, given everything I am doing. But here we are.
Anyone else feeling that? Is it the time of year? Daylight Savings? Just the general pace of life?
Either way—it’s a good reminder that sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is pause. Let's dig into how Kishimi has helped me consider this possibility.
What I've Learned so far from The Courage to Be Disliked
What I find really interesting is that this study reframes courage as internal clarity rather than external bravado. It’s not about proving anything to the world—it’s about aligning your actions with your own values. Or, if you have to prove something to someone... it's about proving everything to YOURSELF!
A few things that I'm going to be working to prove to myself:
what's your downtime look like?
♟️ 1. Happiness is a choice — and a practice.
We don’t have to wait for things to calm down before we feel content. Even when life is chaotic, we can still choose to notice what’s working, what’s good, and what’s ours.
Obviously, one of the things I know is good for me is reading things. It's been less time than usual, but I'm still squeezing in 15-20 minutes a day. It's bliss. Ok, well the learning part of this one can be a little much, but I still enjoy it. And my pleasure-reading book definitely makes up for the muchness of this one.
♟️ 2. Your life tasks are yours alone.
Adler believed that our job isn’t to meet everyone’s expectations—it’s to stay true to our own. You can’t live someone else’s life, and no one else can live yours.
I think a harder part of this conversation is asking yourself what your expectations are and...for some of those answers the even harder part is asking - WHY DO I EXPECT THAT OF MYSELF?!
♟️ 3. Comparison is the thief of contribution.
When we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of what we uniquely bring to the table. We start chasing someone else’s definition of success instead of creating from our own purpose.
This one is huge, folks. We could have a whole newsletter just on this.
♟️ 4. Rest is part of growth.
We tend to treat rest as a reward instead of a requirement. But reflection and recharge are the foundation of real progress. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop, breathe, and reset.
This is definitely where I'm at right now. And I have a hard time reminding myself that it's not just OK, but necessary. Yes, there are a lot of things on my to-do list. But, B-U-TTTTTT if I take time to rest and reset, those things are probably going to be better for it because I'm going to be doing them in a refreshed state.
Not buying it?
Alright, but...think about the stupid things you've done when you've been overtired. Put your cellphone in the fridge? Tried to unlock your house door with your car clicker? Walked out the door with two different shoes? Woken yourself up when you've driven on the rumble strips? Yeah. So, maybe that security strategy WOULD be better built if you're not doing it exhausted.
🤷
♟️5. Courage looks quiet.
Adler called it “the courage to be normal”—the willingness to live authentically instead of constantly seeking approval. Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it just whispers, “This is enough for today.”
What This Means for Us as Leaders
As leaders, creators, and problem-solvers, we often live in a world that demands more—more output, more results, more urgency. But courage isn’t always found in the “more.”
Sometimes, it’s found in the moment we choose to pause before reacting. In the grace we give a teammate who’s struggling. In the kindness we show ourselves when we need a break.
When we lead from this space—centered, calm, self-aware—we model something powerful for our teams: that being human and being effective aren’t opposites. They’re partners.
This Week’s Reflection
If you’re running on fumes right now, give yourself permission to step back and breathe. You’re not falling behind—you’re refueling.
When you come back, you’ll be clearer, stronger, and more focused—not because you pushed harder, but because you gave yourself the space to reset.
And that’s where real progress begins: when we stop competing with everyone else and start growing from within.
And this folks, IS enough for today.
💬 Your Turn
Have you read The Courage to Be Disliked? Or have you found your own way to step back and reset lately? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you— reach out and share your thoughts.
If your team or your workflow feels scattered too, maybe it’s time for a small realignment—not a reinvention. Let’s talk about how to bring calm focus back into your systems, your communication, and your priorities. I'd love to help.
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